Archive for category: Career Development

“What is the shortest word in the English language that contains the letters: abcdef? Answer: feedback. Do not forget that feedback is one of the essential elements of good communication.” Anonymous.

In the late 80’s when I began working as a direct care counselor with at-risk youth in treatment programs, feedback was the norm.  We were working in environments that had high levels of potential dangers, and safety risks to our clients, to us, and our colleagues.  It was incumbent upon us to give each other frank, direct, and honest feedback in the moment.  If we held back, someone could get hurt and when they held back, someone did get hurt. 

Feedback was also a tool to help us empower ourselves.  Feedback was encouraged at all levels including our clients, staff members, and leaders alike.  We were working in a culture that fostered role modeling and “walking the walk” especially for leaders.  I feel fortunate to have developed early on in my career practical and useful feedback tools and strategies.  I have been told that my feedback style is communicated in a kind and direct way.     

Later down the road in my career, I learned that these feedback practices are not the norm in other organizations.  When I ask folx about when “feedback” usually happens in their workplace, they report it occurs at two common times:  during performance appraisals or during disciplinary conversations that happen following some kind of wrongdoing.  And if that is the norm within an organization or a leadership practice, it sets a negative and unhealthy precedent. 

So how do we create, build, and support a culture where feedback carries and takes on a different meaning whether you are in a leadership role or are an aspiring leader? 

I would first invite you to think about feedback as being another word for active listening, information gathering, opportunity, and a way to create more meaning in your professional relationships.

We give feedback all the time.  Every time we speak, our tone of voice, the words we use, the silences we allow, we communicate feedback.  We cannot not give feedback – it just happens all the time. 

The question is are we effectively managing our feedback communication?

Since we come from varied walks of life, diverse backgrounds and experiences, and everything that makes us unique, we all have different perspectives, views, opinions, and triggers.  For each of us, certain behaviors may have a different impact on us in the workplace.  As a leader, though, there should be some clear guidelines and parameters that help you identify behaviors to address.  And of course, we do know in the workplace there are legal and defining behaviors that violate health and safety, discrimination, and harassment policies for example. 

So, let us explore some common workplace behaviors that you have or may encounter as a leader of your team:

1.      Poor Time Management: Consistently misses deadlines or is frequently late for meetings.

2.      Lack of Accountability:  Avoiding responsibility for mistakes or not owning up to one’s actions.

3.      Insubordination:  Disregarding directives or refusing to follow instructions from supervisors.

4.      Negative Attitudes:  Displaying a consistently pessimistic or uncooperative demeanor that affects team morale.

5.      Communication Issues:  Poor communication skills, including ineffective listening, unclear messages, or lack of transparency.

6.      Conflict Avoidance: Avoiding or not addressing conflicts within the team or with colleagues.

7.      Micromanagement: Overly controlling or excessively monitoring team members, hindering their autonomy.

8.      Lack of Initiative:  Failing to take proactive steps or show initiative in carrying out tasks or projects.

9.      Resistance to Change:  Displaying a strong aversion to new processes, technologies, or organizational changes.

10.   Poor Teamwork: Not collaborating effectively with team members or causing disruptions within the team.

11.   Unreliable Work Ethic:  Inconsistency in work performance, including periods of low productivity or missed targets.

12.   Inappropriate Conduct:  Engaging in behaviors that violate workplace ethics or create a hostile work environment.

13.   Poor Adaptability:  Struggling to adapt to changes in job responsibilities, expectations, or company policies.

14.   Failure to Meet Expectations: Consistently falling short of performance expectations or not meeting set goals.

15.   Lack of Professionalism: Behaving in a manner inconsistent with professional standards, such as inappropriate language, attire, or conduct.

These are just some examples.  Here are a few questions that I have for you:

·        What are the behaviors that pose a greater challenge for you or may be difficult to address and deal with? 

·        What are the difficult behaviors that you have had some success in managing?

·        What are some of the barriers for you in giving feedback?

We all have barriers to feedback.  Even though I have been practicing my feedback skills for many years, there are often when I get anxious or concerned about giving feedback.  

Here are some barriers that may present themselves.  As you read these, please take note of which ones are most prominent for you.   

1.      Fear of Negative Reactions:

You may be hesitant to give feedback due to the fear of a negative response from the recipient. This fear can lead to avoidance of critical conversations, hindering the growth and development of the individual.

2.      Lack of Time: 

Busy schedules and numerous responsibilities can make it challenging for you to find the time for thoughtful and constructive feedback. The perceived time constraints may result in delayed or rushed feedback.

3.      Unclear Communication Skills: 

You may struggle with effectively articulating your thoughts and providing clear feedback. Poor communication skills can lead to misunderstandings and make it difficult for the recipient to grasp the intended message.

4.      Avoidance of Conflict: 

You might avoid giving feedback to prevent potential conflicts or uncomfortable situations. This avoidance can hinder an individual’s progress and hinder the overall team’s performance.

5.      Concerns About Employee Morale: 

You may worry that giving constructive feedback could negatively impact employee morale. You may fear that individuals will become demotivated or disengaged, potentially leading to a decrease in overall team morale.

What may be the best lens to operate from about feedback?

Feedback is not all negative.  It is an opportunity to motivate.  Expressing appreciation for a job well done, to inspire and motivate allows each other to know what we are doing well and what we should continue doing.

Feedback is essential to helping us be the most effective and the best we can be in our roles.  It is a gift and an opportunity we give to others and ourselves.

Brene Brown, a psychologist, author, and professor has brought forward the power of vulnerability.  She has written many books, one entitled Daring Greatly, which some of you may be familiar with.

Here is one of her quotes. 

“Daring greatly is the courage to be vulnerable it means to show up and be seen. To ask for what you need to talk about how you’re feeling to have the hard conversations” Brene Brown

Agreed, right?  Interestingly, what I have found is it is hard to be candid in the workplace.  Now let me extend that comment, some things are “easy” to be candid about while there may be a lot of things that are difficult and tricky.

Fair?  

Giving and receiving feedback requires vulnerability.  How much am I willing to put myself out there and how much am I willing to expose myself?

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage are not always comfortable, but they are never weakness.”  Brene Brown 

Giving and receiving feedback takes courage.    

Here are 4 tips to develop your feedback style:

1.      Obtain a Feedback Mindset & Be Human:

Having a feedback mindset refers to adopting an attitude and approach that values and actively seeks feedback as a means of personal and professional growth. Individuals with a feedback mindset are open to giving and receiving constructive criticism, suggestions, and input from others, and they see feedback as a valuable tool for improvement.

Show your humanness.  Approach any feedback conversation from a place of caring and concern.  

2.      Be Specific and Objective:

Clearly outline the behavior or performance that needs addressing. 

Use concrete examples to illustrate your points, making the feedback more tangible and actionable.

Focus on observable actions rather than making generalized statements.  Ensure that this is something that the person can do something about.

3.      Balance Positive and Constructive Feedback:

Start the conversation with positive aspects of the individual’s performance or strengths or simply share an observation. 

Articulate areas for improvement, ensuring that the feedback is balanced and not solely focused on the negative.

Reinforce the idea that feedback is meant to facilitate growth and development.

4.      Encourage Two-Way Communication:

Create an open and supportive environment that encourages individuals to share their perspectives and thoughts.  Listen to gain insight into what may be contributing to a certain behavior. 

Actively listen to the recipient’s response and be open to a dialogue.

Be attentive to exploring if this is a skill or resource deficit or a perceived or real inability to do what you are required.  

Collaboratively establish goals and action plans for improvement, fostering a sense of ownership and commitment.

Check on my video illustrating how to give feedback:

What if I told you the following statistics from Dream Maker 2022 on goal setting stated that:    

• “83% of the world’s population do not have goals.

• 14% have a plan in their head, but goals are not written down.

• 3% have written goals.

• 92% of people who set New Year’s resolutions never achieve them.”

Similarly, my coaching clients often report feeling defeated by the enormity of defining and articulating their personal and career aspirations. The journey towards achieving long-term goals can be overwhelming leading to a loss of motivation and a sense of “stuckness.”  In other words, goal setting can feel daunting. 

Without judgment, where do you land?  Are you in the 3, 14, or 83 percentiles? 

I used to be among the 14 and 83% groups until I started coaching more than 10 years ago.  As I began venturing out as a new business owner and emerging entrepreneur, I had a compelling drive to be more strategic and identify my targets and focus areas if I wanted to be successful.  Since that time, I have become hooked, rather “geeked out” and excited about the entire process. 

I want to share with you one of the most effective strategies that I utilize.  It is what Tony Robbins refers to as the chunking method or micro-goal setting. 

As a seasoned career coach, I have witnessed the transformative impact of setting and achieving micro-goals both personally and with my clients on our levels of motivation and overall progress toward larger objectives. 

Micro-Goals Defined

Micro-goals are small, manageable tasks or objectives that contribute to the accomplishment of more significant, long-term goals. They serve as the building blocks, breaking down larger aspirations into actionable steps that are easier to tackle. Micro goals are those small bite-sized steps that we can put into action and execute right now. 

For example, two years ago I established a goal of wanting to be more present and grounded.   I began a mindfulness practice to build my mental fitness muscles.  I started by injecting 2-3 minutes of mindfulness exercises, such as my breathing, throughout my day.  Right before a coaching session, I would set my timer for 3 minutes, close my eyes, center my body, and engage in my exercise.  I would do this repeatedly 3-6 times throughout the day. 

My end goal was to achieve a longer amount of practice and I knew I needed to break it down into bite-sized and doable chunks to start.  The result at the end of each day would be the achievement of 9-18 minutes of daily mindfulness reps.  The cumulative amount over a week was 63 – 126 minutes, or about 252 minutes a month.   Wow!  All that with injecting 2-3 minutes several times over the day.  

Today, my practice has expanded to doing over an hour of mindfulness exercises throughout the day totaling over 1800 minutes a month.  This has resulted in outcomes that have enhanced my sense of well-being, my ability to manage challenges more effectively, and being more “in the moment “with my clients and in my life.      

One of the key benefits of incorporating micro-goals into your growth development strategies is the motivational ripple effect they create. When you experience success in smaller tasks, it triggers a positive feedback loop that fuels motivation for the next challenge. This incremental approach prevents the overwhelming feeling associated with large goals and cultivates a sense of achievement, boosting your overall morale.

In terms of your job search strategy and frankly your ongoing professional development, networking is a key ingredient. 

In my article,  I discuss how networking is about creating and sustaining relationships. It involves establishing relationships with people who you can help and can help you advance your career and business. With that being said, having a networking goal for career and professional success is critical.

One micro-goal for networking could be to identify 2 to 3 former colleagues and/or supervisors to schedule a time with to connect and chat.  The second micro-goal could be to craft a template email, text, or LinkedIn message to send them.  Step by step and brick by brick the foundation starts to get built. You keep moving the dial closer to where you want to be.   

It is important to remember that goal-setting is a process and that even small steps can lead to significant results no matter how discouraging the goal-setting statistics may be. 

According to recent research in goal setting and achievement, there are a few key things to keep in mind to overcome this:

1.     Write down your goals.  This helps to solidify your intentions.

a.     Those who write down their goals are 20% more likely to achieve them than those who do not.

2.     Form a support network.  This is essential for success. You need people who can encourage you and help keep you on track.

a.     Encouraging peers tend to do 40% better than those who did not.

3. Commitment to action steps and support from your network allows you the best chance of attaining your goals.  Identify micro goals and use the chunking method to break them down into tiny, small, and doable tasks. Set yourself up for success.

4.     Track your progress.  By breaking down larger objectives into smaller, measurable components, you can track their advancement with clarity. This tracking system not only helps in staying focused but also provides you an opportunity for timely adjustments and recalibrations if necessary.

When you activate your micro-goals, it instills a sense of accomplishment and progress that reinforces the belief that your larger goals are indeed achievable.

I have the honor of witnessing the motivational boosts and tangible progress that come with achieving my own and my clients’ smaller objectives.  This contributes significantly to my own and your overall success in reaching larger personal and professional er goals. By embracing the power of micro-goals, you can navigate your career paths with resilience, motivation, and a clear sense of accomplishment.

Homework:  What is one micro action step that you are willing and committed to taking in the next 24-48 hours that will move you closer to your larger target? 

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks and starting on the first one.” 

Mark Twain

“Some people will hear you louder in silence. Those are your tribe – they’ll get you through the tough days and give you something to laugh about on the ride.” Nikki Rowe

As a career development and mental fitness coach, the common theme expressed by my clients has been “tribe related”. During and since the pandemic, many of us have spent a lot of time reevaluating our values and being more intentional about whom we spend time with and where and how we want to direct our energies.

The interesting phenomenon and theme are that folx, of all ages, say they are struggling to find their “tribe”, their “peeps”, their “people”. And many of us are on a mission to make new friends, build new relationships, and connect with others that share our values, interests, and goals. I have been part of this quest to find my tribe as well.

Finding our “tribe(s)” extends beyond our personal world, it is also important to have them in our working and professional lives. As leaders or emerging leaders, it is critically important to find those that we can consider our “Board of Directors”, wise counsel, champions, truth-tellers, allies, sounding boards, fellow commiserators; and in essence, our professional tribe.

So, let’s delve into the significance and value of having a “tribe”. This quest will help you increase your leadership tool belt and will ultimately enhance your professional journey.

So, on a scale of 1- 10, how aware of you of the significance of finding a tribe as a leader? 10 being very aware and 1 being not aware at all.

“In a CEOWorldMagazine article, it notes that the modern high-performing leader is one who understands the power of a work tribe as a vehicle to create great change and with velocity.”

The author shares a fundamental difference between two interesting groups: locusts and geese. She asks you, as a leader, are you a locust or a goose? I know that may sound like an odd question but after reading what may appear to be similar behaviors with each group there really are some profound differences. Here is what it said:

“When they travel to find new food sources, locusts migrate in a swarm and geese soar in a streamlined V-shape formation. To an outsider, it looks as if both the locusts and geese are moving as a tribe, with a common purpose and vision. But don’t be mistaken, these are two very different experiences!

Researchers have shown that the mass migration of locusts, in vast swarms, is driven by cannibalism and sustained by fear. Locust swarms are formed because they are desperate to stay a step ahead of their cannibalistic fellow locusts. The individual locust that fails to continue moving forward is likely to be attacked and risks becoming a source of food for others in the swarm. Yes, you fear that your fellow locust will eat you alive if you do not continue to follow the rules and move forward!

Geese, on the other hand, fly in a V-shape formation, which enhances communication and coordination. Because of this, these birds beat their wings less often and conserve energy on a long and difficult journey. Also, to keep things fair, geese take turns being in the front, with each bird moving to the back when they get tired.

Like the geese, when you soar with your work tribe, they will support you when the winds change direction in your life. They will fly in a V formation with you and allow you to fly higher, faster, and further than you ever could on your own. They allow you to rest and recuperate when you need a break, and to step up and to take your place to lead when it is your time. Your journey to where you are going is much easier.”

What has been your experience within your organization and team? Do you feel as though you are a locust just trying to survive and stay alive or are you part of a gaggle of geese working in formation for a common cause with a shared purpose?

This example illustrates that you can have a tribe but is the tribe you are part of serving you and fueling you and others to grow? Let’s explore four areas a professional tribe offers you as a professional.

First and foremost, your tribe can provide you with the support and encouragement that you need. As a leader, it is often a lonely place and filled with challenges and unknowns. Who are those folx that will keep you grounded and “gumby-like”?

In 2016, I attended a coaching conference in Boston through the IOC (Institute of Coaching) and met a fellow coach Lupe Wood. She and I became fast friends and decided we were going to be peer coaches to one another. We have coached each other since then regarding our personal and professional goals. We have been meeting virtually since 2016 and have built an amazing relationship. Over the years we have asked other fellow coaches to join our group and created a tribe. Our “tribe” meets monthly, and we call ourselves the Coaches Circle. It has been an amazing form of support!

Your tribe will also offer a variety of perspectives and the opportunity to open your lenses to diverse thoughts, opinions, and people.

Our coaching circle has coaches from all different backgrounds, walks of life, personal and life experiences, professional specialties as well as varied coaching practices. Within this network of coaches, I have enlarged and expanded my thinking and perspectives. It has allowed each of us to burst with innovative ideas and approaches. We have taken our coaching practices and business to new heights.

Another value add is that a tribe allows you to make connections with like-minded people which affords you networking opportunities. It enlarges your networking community and opens those who you can support and can support you.

I cannot tell you how often, over the last seven years, the number of connections we helped to bridge for one another. As a matter of fact, one of my foundational coaching frameworks focused on increasing your mental fitness muscles through the program Positive Intelligence was introduced to me two years ago through my coaching circle.

Another key area that having a professional tribe creates is accountability. Yes, accountability. Research has shown clearly that having accountability partners who are invested in the work that you are doing and the goals that you have set, increases your chances of successful goal attainment. Your tribe can activate and ignite your inspiration as motivation wanes and needs constant refueling.

So, holding each other accountable to our goals and offering the type of support each one of us needs is pivotal.

In summation, you are not alone if you have been in search of finding your tribe. You are in very good company. People of all ages are in search of like-minded people who can inspire them to live and work and create the changes they want in their lives.

As noted, finding your personal tribe as well as your professional tribe is crucial for the soul and completely worth the effort. Your professional tribe can be a source of support and encouragement. They can offer a diversity of viewpoints and perspectives. They can help expand your networking connections and will be your accountability partners.

When we have others to help us along the way it makes the journey fun and doable.

Reach out if you are looking for ways to navigate and find your tribe. I would love to help.

“If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” African Proverb

November 02, 2022, will be my twenty-year anniversary of being smoke-free. Yes – 20 years ago I quit smoking for good. I will share with you, my journey.

I can remember as far back as being 11 years old and smoking my first cigarette. We had a babysitter who smoked. I recall being persistent with her and managing to get her to give me one. I was a real pain in the “you know what” and nudged her until she caved and gave me one of them. After that, a couple of my friends would steal cigarettes from their parents, and we would smoke in the woods. I am sure many of you can relate.

Then at 13 years of age, on Friday nights, we would go to the movies or the roller rink and we would buy a pack of Parliaments and smoke a pack of cigarettes those nights. I cannot believe they sold us cigarettes, but they did. This was when you could smoke in movie theaters. There was one side of the theater for those of us that smoked. I now feel for those nonsmokers who were trying to enjoy their movie but had waves of smoke blown in their faces.

My smoking habit increased and became more frequent. At the age of 15, I smoked on a regular basis and would hang out in the “back of the school” where all the smokers spent time together. We were referred to as the “burnouts” and there were a lot of us who smoked. It was the “cool” thing to do. Between classes, we were all out there like hungry animals puffing away and “bumming” smokes off each other.

Smoking now had become part of my daily routine. I went from smoking Parliaments to Marlborough’s to Marlborough 100’s over time. Not that the brand of cigarettes really matters but as a smoker, you do have a cigarette preference. For instance, I never liked menthol cigarettes.

Fast forward to a couple of decades later, and I was now in my mid 30’s and still smoking; anywhere from a pack to sometimes a pack and a half a day. I really enjoyed smoking. I never thought of quitting. I honestly thought I would smoke for the rest of my life.

Then in the summer of 2002, I went to a women’s fitness camp in Colorado based on a colleague’s recommendation. The fitness retreat was called Women’s Quest which was run by Colleen Cannon, who was an accomplished athlete. Colleen, along with several other world-class athletes ran this weeklong camp for women strictly based on optimizing health, and wellness, and engaging in total fitness activities throughout the week. We would get up early to have a nutritious and healthy breakfast, do some yoga and then go for a run, hike, or mountain biking depending on the day.

Each day was filled with various sports and physical activities along with a guided lecture by one of the women athletes on a topic such as training, mindfulness, etc. In addition, there were exercises to increase self-awareness through journaling, and of course, we had some downtime during the day to just relax and soak up the beauty of the mountain landscape. They also did a fantastic job of incorporating FUN and playfulness. We would “skip” around the room like when we were kids. It was a total experience of reclaiming ourselves within a safe group.

And amazingly, I still smoked. I would wait until about 3 pm when we had some free time, and I would go several hundred yards away from the cabin and sneak a smoke. I had this ignorant and naïve notion that after I washed my hands and sprayed some air fragrance that no one knew I smoked. I was wrong. The women there never said anything to me except for one person. And all she said was, “You smoke?” in a non-accusatory but questioning fashion. And that was all it took. At that moment, I started feeling an emotion that I had not experienced related to my smoking and that was the feeling of sheer embarrassment. For the first time, I was embarrassed that I was a smoker.

The feeling of embarrassment stayed with me even when I returned home to Boston. Several days later I was on the “T,” Boston’s subway system, and I was reading a paper that was created by the homeless and on the back page of the paper, there were ads to participate in various studies conducted by the local universities. One stared me straight in the eyes. It was a research study to help you quit smoking. It was conducted by Harvard University, and it was a study on “the patch.” When I got home that night, I called the number, left my information, and hoped that I could get in.

I was enrolled in the program shortly after I reached out and had to travel to Boston 4 times a week to go through the preliminary work before I actually “quit”. When the day came to quit, we had to select to do it on a Saturday – YES, a Saturday, the worst possible day to start or stop something. You usually do that on a Monday but now I had to quit on a Saturday and so Saturday, November 2, 2002, was the day. Saturday, November 2nd was the first day I became smoke-free.

Day 1 was awful. I vowed that I never wanted to experience Day 1 again, so I kept going. On Day 2, I experienced another awful day, and I vowed that I never wanted to experience Day 2 again and so on. I just kept telling myself that if I continued it would get better and that I never wanted to experience those initial painful and awful days again. At this point I wanted, I was resigned to quitting. I was doing it I would tell myself. Day 2 turned into 3, then 4, then before I knew it a week had gone by, then 2 weeks, then a month, and so on. I just kept going.

I decided that on my first weekend of quitting that I would go to places where I could not smoke. I went to the mall, the movies, etc. anywhere I could not smoke. I also did not allow myself to drink alcohol, which is. Not that I was a big drinker, I was not, I just knew that drinking led to smoking, and often smoked a lot.

It was working and I was not smoking. Do not get me wrong, it was hard. It was one of the most difficult things I have done in my life and at the same time the best thing I have done for myself.

When I went to work that first Monday, I realized that I was not taking my frequent smoke breaks. I had more time to do more work. In retrospect, it became apparent that I had been paid for my smoke breaks and paid for chunks of time over the years that I was not actually working.

I also began realizing that the times that I had thought would be the toughest for me i.e., driving in the car, after a meal, etc. were not the worst times when I was craving a cigarette. The worst times were connected to my emotional state. A realization I only made during this quitting period. Often, I smoked to release boredom. Yes, I smoked when I was bored.

I then told myself I needed to do an activity to counter my desire to smoke. I decided to start running. Well, when I say running, I do not mean I was blazing trails and kicking up dust; I started a slow jog. I figured if I incorporated exercise that required strong lungs and breathing it would lessen my need to smoke. It worked.

I needed to build up my lung capacity as I would quickly be out of breath. I would start running one block at a time and then I would walk the rest. I used a training system where I built up to running for 3 minutes, then walking for one minute and I would repeat this over and over. I was able to increase that over time when I ran for 9 minutes and walked for one minute and repeated that cycle. This was the technique I used to train and eventually used to run the four marathons I completed.

So, yes, I am at the 20-year mark of being “smoke-free”. I share my story because there was a time when I never even entertained or thought that leaving my relationship with cigarettes would occur. I believed deep down that I could never actually do it. I had this mindset and perception that quitting was an impossible feat and therefore I was destined to be a lifelong smoker. So, I never attempted to quit, until I went on that fateful trip to Colorado. It was there that I realized the power I did have and that I made the decision to exercise that power.

In my early 20s, I recall going to watch the Boston Marathon every year and being on the sidelines at the last turn of the race at Hereford and Boylston. I used to watch the runners every year on Patriots Day with admiration and respect. I would say to myself, one day I am going to do this. I would say it with intention and desire, however, I never really thought I would. I proved myself wrong.

Quitting smoking led to me training and completing four marathons, three of which were in Boston, which eventually led to other major leaps such as becoming a solopreneur. It all started with that feeling of sheer embarrassment and the belief that I could do better; that I deserved better.

What false beliefs have you dismantled?

What limiting thoughts have you challenged?

I know many have said this but trust me, if I can do it so can you! No doubt! It is a simple and true statement.

What is one area that you want to change but feel is unattainable? Dig deep and know that our only limitations are those that are self-imposed.

“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Join me in celebrating my 20th smoke-free anniversary!! I am going to relish a little in this huge feat!

Yesterday I went on a hike that was identified on AllTrails as an “easy to moderate” one and 3.6 miles in length. It was about 92 degrees out and you may think that I was nuts! I lead a group in my local community, and I picked this trail because it had a waterfall. I thought it would be a nice treat for a cool-off point. I wish I could say that I am in the shape I want to be in, but I am not, and I am working to get there – so the hike was tough. We had a great group; there were 5 of us in total. All ages, abilities, etc.

We got to a point where there was a steep hill – the length unknown and I really needed to take it slow. As I was climbing up, I remembered one of my coaches from Team in Training when I was preparing for the 2006 Boston Marathon – his name was Rick. Rick was an elite runner and an amazing coach. Of the many things he did to prepare us well for marathon day one thing he said was to find him at the half marathon mark in Wellesley – right near the community center during the race. He would have a message for us that would get us through to the finish line. On race day 2006, I had to use a host of inspirational games to get me to mile 13.1 when I would see Rick and he would give me the message that would get me to the end. Now I was a “back of the pack” runner – which means I was slow. My best running time was a 12-minute mile. For me, that was an amazing time I worked up to. A real triumph and accomplishment. So, on race day 2006, I was getting close to mile 13.1 and I was anxiously looking for Rick. It was hard to locate him with the many people and the uncertainty of where he would be. But after scouring the area, I saw him crouched down in the middle of the road. Ahhh, there was Rick. Rick was going to have an important message for me that would get me through to the finish line. As I was looking at him with pure attention, I was thinking okay Rick what do you have for me? And soon I saw him taking his finger and tapping his temple. And I thought, “what”? What was Rick doing? And then it became clear as day. Rick was telling me it was all in my head! It was a mental game that I needed to continue to play and getting to the finish line was all in my head. Okay, Rick, I got it! I took that message right down Boylston Street and finished the race strong! So, what was the connection yesterday while I was on my hike? Well, climbing that endless hill required a mental game. I also want to add there were other elements at play. I was with an amazingly supportive group of people who waited patiently for each other, encouraged everyone, and made sure that we were all okay. Rick’s message was an important one – small, medium, and tough challenges are largely mental.